Winter tree forest

Everything in my home happens after October.

In the span of 9 weeks, we celebrate my birthday, Jordan’s birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

This year, add in finding out about college.

This moment, I don’t know anything.

Any day now, the college he most wants to go to will send him an email saying he’s in or not.

If he’s in, we sit with the joy – and the start of “Will I need these sheets? Who’s my roomate?”

If he’s not in, we sit with the questions, next steps, courage and unfolding.

Just wanted to mark this with a 115 Wednesdays post.

So often we don’t realize we need to mark moments…. the last time they play with legos…the last time they let us read them a story before bed…the last time we took them to a friend’s house before they started driving.

I need this monument to his life, and to mine.

These are the last nights we talk about what if’s and I think you’re in. Do you really? Yes.

….the last dreamings of all possibilities, all options on the table, removing fear from If-I-Don’t -Get-In.

…the last going over what he said and didn’t say in the interview… what he should’ve and glad he did say.

…the last moments of limbo of his life-after this, he’ll know the next four years.

I mark this moment of unknown before the moment we know:

With a prayer of gratitude for the journey.
With tears for so much sacrifice.
With joy for so much pride.
With humility for letting go.
With steadfast belief in his journey that now parts ways with mine.
With connection that will never sever, just expand it’s boundaries.

Life as I know it, before there’s another turn into life unfamiliar.
Regardless of the outcome–this moment is blessed.


Author of Momifesto: 9 Practices for Phenomenal Moms. Buy your copy from Amazon HERE. Momifesto




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