I grew up in New England where Autumn’s colors blazed in October. I can remember being a teen and hearing my grandmother say “OH the colors!!!” I didn’t get it. I didn’t really care. There are the colors again, it’s Autumn, big deal.
But I bet I’m my grandmother’s soul mate. Because as time passes, I need Autumn’s blaze before cold gray winters, and shortened days.
I now live where the trees often burst into color and I wait for it every year. The bright yellows and oranges and a few reds show off for one month. It’s a marker. It’s a thing here.
But not this year.
The dry summer stole the colors months ago when no one was looking. Yes there are colors, but not nearly what we normally see. (I know, I know – if you’re from an area without seasons, this may seem a strange complaint. But it’s what I’m used to here.)
Although there are yellows, it’s a general yellowish mustard , where leaves aren’t fully turning brilliant colors because they can’t. It’s hard to explain when you’re used to trees in brilliant colors and this year they can’t give more. They just can’t.
But the sadness is because I expected more – I know what’s possible. Or, at least what’s familiar to me.
It feels like parenting lessons. There are days where Jordan just wakes up tired, on half throttle. Or the years that were not what I expected. And now as he’s 10 months before college, I’m wondering “Where do I need to pour more into him? Where is he dry? Is he in as full color as possible?”
I already know the parenting lessons offering themselves to me on Autumn trees… Live this moment. Give my all today. Pour, water, let it all settle however he needs to settle it. Let the colors of who he is and the life he is designed to live, emerge.
Trust it was all enough. Nothing to compare to.
And there is more.
The parenting lessons to me are obvious every single day this season as I drive around and hear my grandmother’s voice celebrating the colors that are now in front of me; the colors that are teaching me the lessons for this season.
accept what is -in life, with J, everything
expectations don’t change reality, they just add sadness to it
reality is beautiful and necessary
it’s okay to have seasons of drought in my life, allow and love the dry parts that are present now because of the past seasons
hey, look – the red leaves are taking center stage, and I would have missed that beauty if the others were in bloom.
With gratitude for the colors this year,
Author of Momifesto: 9 Practices for Phenomenal Moms. Buy your copy from Amazon HERE.
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