Have you heard about Josh and Anna Duggar and the #Breathe Fire movement? Wanted to fill you in because it’s quite impressive and powerful and so so needed – for moms, daughters – and sons.
I read this a few days ago, posted it to my personal Facebook page, then to The Mom Whisperer Facebook page, but I wanted to post it here too. Because #Breathe Fire is not going to stop any time soon. Nor should it.
It’s well written, and yes, “feminist.” But I use that term because of what happens when relationships are not equal. When “Godly” women should and must use wisdom and pivot their lives in light of truth.
And change the conversations we’re having with our daughters – when do we follow and break rules, when do we forgive and when do we stand for ourselves, and how and when do they Breathe Fire?
And change the conversations we’re having with our sons. Because if we teach our daughters to believe they breathe fire, we better be teaching our sons to believe they are fearless fire handlers and learn how to dance with their fire women (sisters, mothers, wives, co-workers, mothers of their children), inviting them to ignite their lives, souls, and world.
Here is what Jessica Krammes Kirkland wrote in response to the revelations that Josh Duggar had 2 Ashley Madison accounts and Anna Duggar choosing to stay with him. Oh, she has 4 children ages three and under. Just so you know.
“I know everybody is laughing about this Josh Duggar story. Oh, a DUGGAR on Ashley Madison, it’s so rich! I wish more people would talk about Anna.
I normally keep things light on Facebook, but let’s talk about Anna.
Let me tell you: Anna Duggar is in the worst position she could possibly be in right now.
Anna Duggar was crippled by her parents by receiving no education, having no work experience (or life experience, for that matter) and then was shackled to this loser because his family was famous in their religious circle.
Anna Duggar was taught that her sole purpose in life, the most meaningful thing she could do, was to be chaste and proper, a devout wife, and a mother.
Anna Duggar did that!
Anna Duggar followed the rules that were imposed on her from the get-go and this is what she got in reward- a husband who she found out, in the span of 6 months, not only molested his own sisters, but was unfaithful to her in the most humiliating way possible. While she was fulfilling her “duty” of providing him with four children and raising them. She lived up to the standard that men set for her of being chaste and Godly and in return, the man who demanded this of her sought women who were the opposite. “Be this,” they told her. She was.
It wasn’t enough.
What is Anna Duggar supposed to do?
She can’t divorce because the religious environment she was brought up would blame her and ostracize her for it. Even if she would risk that, she has no education and no work experience to fall back on, so how does she support her kids? From where could she summon the ability to turn her back on everything she ever held to be sacred and safe?
Her beliefs, the very thing she would turn to for comfort in this kind of crisis, are the VERY REASON she is in this predicament in the first place.
How can she reconcile this? Her parents have utterly, utterly failed her. Think of this: somewhere, Anna Duggar is sitting in prayer, praying not for the strength to get out and stand on her own, but for the strength to stand by this man she is unfortunately married to. To lower herself so that he may rise up on her back.
As a mother of daughters, this makes me ill.
Parents, WE MUST DO BETTER BY OUR DAUGHTERS.
Boys, men, are born with power. Girls have to command it for themselves. They aren’t given it. They assume it and take it. But you have to teach them to do it, that they can do it.
We HAVE to teach our daughters that they are not beholden to men like this. That they don’t have to marry a man their father deems “acceptable” and then stay married to that man long, long after he proved himself UNACCEPTABLE.
Give them the tools they need to survive, on their own if they must.
Josh Duggar should be cowering in fear of Anna Duggar right now. Cowering.
He isn’t, but he should be.
He should be quaking in fear that the house might fall down around them if he’s in the same room as she.
Please, instill your daughters with the resolve to make a man cower if he must. To say “I don’t deserve this, and my children don’t deserve this.” I wish someone had ever, just once, told Anna she was capable of this. That she knew she is.
As for my girls, I’ll raise them to think they breathe fire.”
Credited to Jessica Krammes Kirkland: