Momagamous Definition: Committing to being a mother instead of dating.
As a tribute to 115 Wednesdays this video is an honest look at why I’m not dating right now and choosing to “just” be a mom instead. NO judgements on anyone doing anything differently. Just sharing an alternative path that is working for me on many unexpected levels.
In the aftermath of divorce, everyone is reeling.
Truth is, I remember my own parents divorce – both moved on very quickly, either remarrying or dating – and I remember feeling untethered, looking for attention and stability. My grandparents stepped in to provide this on a daily basis and it was incredibly grounding for me.
So, without my family nearby to stabilize my situation, I felt called not date and create a stable home – routine, meals together, and to be available for him to need me without being interrupted with a split attention span to see if a boyfriend texted me back. Or to figure out my visitation calendar with his. Or to be there for him because he needs to talk.
Maybe I’m just not a good multi-tasker. Maybe it was years of hearing that I wasn’t great at both simultaneously. Maybe it’s just that I’m not ready. Or maybe, I just want to find myself before I find a man.
Probably, it’s all of the above. 😉
Will I ever date?
Actually, I am intending on finding a relationship with a conscious man who loves his life and family and can make me a priority…who can engage in reciprocity of giving and receiving..who can trust me and cheer me on as I do him..(cue Titanic theme song)…who is willing to co-create a life together...(cue Pretty Woman theme song)…with deep honor for our parenting journeys… and respect me all the more because I finished strong in my season of motherhood.
Or maybe I’ll be the one who respects myself for finishing strong… either way, that’s what I’m believing for. (cue “You’re the One that I Want” from the final scene of Grease)
Here’s to a few more months of being momagamous!
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