…excerpt from the introduction to Momifesto: A Manifesto of 9 Practices for Phenomenal Moms.

…this is in honor of the women on my ezine list from over 10 countries that cannot download or order this book. We are with you.

Whether it’s the brillian women who find me for coaching, or my beautiful friends, or amazing women I overhear in public, they all believe in more – for their families and lives.

They’ve been told as young women to dream, build a life, choose well and be happy (no pressure).

But now there are children – and they refuse to let go of the hope for more. They become warriors for their family in the most heroic ways.

They want the map, the one designed especially for them, and for each child.

They skim parenting books then toss, unable to figure out which chapter they’re supposed to read first.

They look at their surroundings and are a little freaked out a the tasks ahead. They don’t ask friends any more because they are trekking too and they don’t know either.

They know they are at a standstill, but don’t know which direction to start.

They are burning the candle at both ends – staying up late and getting up early, and they are exhausted from doing it all. Tehy don’t know who they are, don’t have time for anything, and would like the hallways closet – if not the whole house – decluttered.

Typically, the only piece of advice they hear is “put on your oxygen mask.”

If I could change one thing in the entire mom world, it would be a ban on the airplane oxygen mask advice (usually given by well meaning individuals without children at home). Airline stewards announce putting your own oxygen mask on before helping your child. It makes sense on an airplane.

However, we are not seated on an airplane.

Our kids are not buckled, and immobile while we are served a selection of beverages.

We are not reading a magazine.

We are not inhaling and exhaling or taking a quick nap because our kid is watching an entire 90 minute movie on an iPad, while buckled in, drinking juice and eating pretzels.

We are not sitting peacefully next to our tween and/ or teen, talking about what snacks they want when someone else is delivering them.

Although we shouldn’t, we might steal a spare moment to look around and see where the nearest exit is located.

(you are reading a free excerpt from the introduction to Momifesto)

The Reality – Why Oxygen Masks Fail Us

Our daily lives from the moment we get out of the bed are far from the controlled environment of a plane’s cabin en route to somewhere very fun. With all due respect to the sacred oxygen mask analogy, here is the truth about our daily lives, regardless of the age of our child(ren).

We are in fact, the stewardess, offering pillows, pouring soda, finding extra pretzels out of thin air while all the lights are being pushed like flashes of lightning during a storm.

We are shutting off smoke alarms, resetting call buttons and taking care of overflowing toilets. On both ends of the plane.

We are the only stewardess on the plane.

For every flight.

We are the pilot navigating where we go, how fast, and when the whole thing lands. We are very aware that every day is a new flight in uncharted territory and we are on “sight only” because there is no map. Fog every single day. We have already deployed every oxygen mask on the flight. We want everyone to stop and breathe, and buckle themselves in. We are trying to think.

AND we are the cleaning crew getting things ready for the next day,  stocking sodas, replacing magazines, vacuuming, and cleaning toilets.

Let me ask you this: Does this sound like an oxygen mask is going to cut it? 

Not even close.

But it’s even worse than that.

We don’t need an oxygen mask, we need an oxygen tank. Here’s why.

We are not on a plane at all.

Motherhood could not be reduced to a plane ride on the best days. As a long term commitment, full of unimaginable awe and breathtaking pain, the commitment to the journey has to be epic.

Every mom is actually journeying her own Mt. Everest.



Mom coach, speaker and author of Momifesto: 9 Practices for Phenomenal Moms. Buy your copy from Amazon HERE. Momifesto
Join us for a FREE 30 day trial of online creativity courses at Brave Girls University (use coupon code “vikkispencer”) HERE.

bgu_today- i-am-taking-time


Sign up HERE for the Ezine and receive a FREE audio on Mom Anger from the book Momifesto!